The Ben Cramer Homepage
- everything you always wanted to know about your favourite Dutch artist! -

General overview | The Music | The Person | Downloadables | Relevant LinX | Myhome

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Who is Ben Cramer?

This question, and more, will be revealed to you on this page
First of all, a picture of this great Dutch artist:

Ben Cramer in his current "slick Italian looking dude" phase


Ben Cramer's favourite quote

General Overview

Ben Cramer is a famous Dutch artist, who has specialized himself in the art of tear-jerkers.
His vocals are feared all through the country, and his songs have the irritating tendency to creep into your brain and hook themselves in your cortex. This is not the worse part. The worse part is that:
  1. the songs never ever leave, fade or dissapear, and
  2. they surface at the most unfavourable moments. (e.g. you suddenly notice that you're singing them)

General overview | The Music | The Person | Downloadables | Relevant LinX | Myhome

What kind of music does Ben Cramer create?

As said before, Ben Cramer is the Dutch "king of tear-jerkers". His songs are melancholic, moralising, and easy to sing along. His most famous CD, called "De clown", after the first song, features the following songs:

  1. De Clown
  2. Zai zai zai
  3. Mona Lisa
  4. Agatha
  5. Vrede
  6. Hoort mij aan pessimisten
  7. Slavin van de nacht
  8. De oude muzikant
  9. Geen sneeuwvlok
  10. Winter
  11. Barbara
  12. Het wordt nacht signorita
  13. Leven
  14. Jij hield niet van mij
  15. gelukkig zijn
This list looks very impressing, but the total playing time is only 48 minutes, probably to prevent serious ear and brain-damage. The gross of the songs are written by the Dutch master-songwriter Pierre Kartner, author of the world-wide bestseller "het smurfenlied".
If you listen to the texts carefully, you'll notice that the majority of all texts don't make any sense. A good example is the hit-single "Zai zai zai". It already begins with the title: what the hell does "zai zai zai" mean?! Nobody knows for certain, and even Ben Cramer himself is quite mistyfied about the meaning of this strange sentence.
In the song itself there's the following line of text:

"In ons eigen taaltje kwamen er drie woorden bij: Zai zai zai zai...".

This roughly translates as: "In our own little language three new words were introduced: "Zai zai zai zai". Well, that does make as much sense as a japanese VCR instruction-manual, does it?
What the hell does this mean? There surely are no three new words, it's only one word repeated four times! This suggests that, even in our modern, highly computerised world, there are still people that can't even count!

But it doesn't really matter if someone can't count as long as they don't try it in we sure hope that this small problem can be fixed with Ben's latest album. But the chances are that it can take quite a while before this small flaw in Ben's great musical history is corrected, because back in 1986, he suddenly came up with this wild idea of doing musicals! So he immediately dumped his former musical carreer, jumped on stage and devoted himself to musials.
He acted as a reserve singer for the star of "The Phantom of the Opera", and thus his vocal terrorism reached a select part of our population, thus leaving them vulnerable to other kinds of evil, like higher taxes and corrupt police-officers. But, unfortunately, this musical has been dumped too, so now Ben has to earn his money with an occasional appearance at weddings, fairs and other quite uninteresting events. But Ben doesn't complain, for he started his musical carreer this way.
But there are some rather interesting rumors regarding Ben's would-be appearance in the Dutch version of the famous musical "Evita", in which he wil be playing the role of Mr. Peron. I guess he won't be playing with Madonna (she's scared to near-death of him, can you believe this!?). Another interesting rumor is that Ben might be playing in the British version of "The Pahntom of the opera", but these rumours are rather vague, so please don't make any reservations for the London Opera yet!

Furthermore, there are some sites on the web that have even included songtexts of some of Ben Cramer's greatest hits for you to enjoy. If you think about this carefully, this small fact has to mean that there are people alive who have had the great courage and determination to actually listen to Ben's music and write down the lyrics! This wonderful contribution to the cultural heritage of mankind is something I'd like to share with you, so here they are, in not so random order:

Yoffy Yoffy Yoffy

Zai Zai Zai


Hoort mij aan, pessimisten

De Clown

Dans met mij


General overview | The Music | The Person | Downloadables | Relevant LinX | Myhome

Ben Cramer, the person

As a person, Ben Cramer usually is a rather cool dude and quite bearable, except when he's driving his car on the highways. According to the Dutch pulp-magazines, he tends to shout, scream and swear when confronted with other drivers within a distance of 100 meters of his car. His car, a twenty year old citroën, is feared all over the country, for it produces an awful amount of mind-numbing noise and an even greater amount of smoke. It is commonly believed that Ben has rebuilt the engine so it can run on coal and even lumps of peat!
Ben Cramer also has a great sense of humour, and he's quite notorious for the dirty jokes he likes telling to complete strangers. This probably is the way he has met his current wife, to wich he is happily married for over four years now. Another habit of this great person is to get horribly drunk, together with his wife,and especially on high-society parties when all sorts of high-ranking people from the world of business and entertainment are present. (almost all of his photographs show him standing with a large glass of something terribly alcoholic in his hand) His favourite drinks are:

Unfortunately for his loyal fans, Ben has suffered some major problems with his heart and vascular system. He had to be taken into an hospital, and has undergone some major operations to his heart.One of his cardiac valves had to be replaced, and he was unable to sing for a long period of time. To our great relief Ben has recovered quickly, and he has even been asked to sing in an English musical!

Since his recovery he has picked up all of his former hobbies he had to discard when faced with his illness, including painting ducks. This physically exhausting hobby is his favourite, and especially the crawling around in swamps with an airbrush and a duck-net gives him a lot of satisfaction. If you happen to pay a visit the Dutch nature-park "De Bieschbos" in the near future, try to look for some of his latest masterpieces (These ducks are quickly recognised by their bright coulours and slightly disturbed behaviour). After a succesful "catch 'n paint" Ben takes off to the nearest pub and celebrates his victory with an awful amount of Dutch lager.
When Ben isn't catching ducks, drunk and/or driving his car, he tries to optimize his vocal cords. The method by which he does this is as follows:

You can understand that Ben Cramer isn't seen in public very often.

General overview | The Music | The Person | Downloadables | Relevant LinX | Myhome

Shortly said, Ben Cramer is a remarkable, yet very confusing person.

Therefore, I've made some Ben Cramer goodies ready for you to enjoy!!!

Some Ben Cramer samples: sit back, and feel the raw voice from Holland...

This is a piece of Ben Cramer's song "Zai Zai Zai", and it's one of a kind!! (576 kb, one minute long!)

A nice sample of "De clown" for you to enjoy!

My good friend Napole0n has created a Ben Cramer program for MS-Dos. This is only the first beta version, but the final version is on its way!!!

If you're interested in more of this excellent kind of entertainment, you must visit

the Mary Servaes Homepage!!!

Or you can go

(Back) to Pauze weB

Another lovely option...

is the page dedicated to some very weird collegues of Ben Cramer. They call themselves the "Lucky Lips", and are quite famous in the Dutch party scene. Ben Cramer, or "uncle Ben" as they call him, has been their main source of inspiration for years now, and they have been known to perform many songs originally written for mister Cramer himself. If you're interested in this great musical duo, please check out the Lucky Lips Homepage for more information!

And if you're REALLY interested in Ben Cramer, please visit
Endemol Entertainment
for more information.

De Vrindpagin@

This is a nice Dutch page in the same style as this one, so really worth a visit, especially if you're interested in the seduction of "Anita's" and thee deep mysteries of HNS-TV....

And finally...

the ultimate page for the lovers of real weirdness....
The Weird Planet Homepage

Startpunt Diana
Nominated as Startpunt Diana Promo Site!

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By the way, you are one of people that have been so kind to visit the Ben Cramer homepage, since last server crash.

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