Words to live by in the Ferengi culture. Ferengi children are expected to memorize these pearls of wisdom and repeat them on command (The Nagus). There are currently 285 Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (The Maquis, Part I & Rules of Acquisition). Below are not all the Rules listed. There are many sources on the web for "complete" lists of the Rules or you can try my "Rules of Acquisition link page". You can here a Rule by clicking on the number of it, if you have installed realaudio (3.0 needed or newer) properly. There are currently 29 soundclips in this archive.

To the Revised Rules

NR	RULE	EPISODE
1	Once you have their money you never give it back.	The Nagus
3	Never spent more for an acquisition than you have to.	The Maquis, Part II
6	Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.	The Nagus
7	Keep your ears open.	In The Hands Of The Prophets
9	Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.	The Storyteller
10	Greed is eternal.	Prophet Motive
16	A deal is a deal.	Melora
17	A contract is a contract is a contract, but only between Ferengi.	Body Parts
18	A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.	Heart Of Stone
21	Never place friendship before profit.	Rules Of Acquisition
22	A wise man can hear profit in the wind.	Rules of Acquisition
31	Never make fun about a Ferengi's mother (.. Insult someone he cares about instead).	The Siege
33	It never hurst to suck up to the boss.	Rules of Acquisition
34	War is good for business.	Destiny
35	Peace is good for business.	Destiny
47	Don't trust a man who wearing a better suite than your own	Rivals
48	The bigger the smile the sharper the knife.	Rules of Acquisition
57	Good customers are as rare as latinum, treasure them.	Armageddon Games
59	Free advice is seldom cheap.	Rules of Acquisition
62	The riskier the road the greater the profit.	Rules Of Acquisition
76	Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.	The Homecoming
103	Sleep can interfere with the...	Rules of Acquisition
109	Dignity and an empty sack is worth a sack	Rivals
111	Treat people in your debt like family, exploit them.	Past Tense, Part I
112	Never have sex with the boss's sister.	Playing God
139	Wives serve. Brothers inherit.	Necessary Evil
194	It's alway good business to know about your customers before they walk in your door.	Whispers
203	New customers Are like razor-toothed Gree-Worms. They can be succulent, but they sometimes bite back.	Little Green Men
211	Employees are the rungs on the ladder to success. Don't hesitate to step on them.	Bar Association.
214	Never begin a business association on an empty stomach.	The Maquis, Part I
217	You can't free a fish from water.	Past Tense, Part I
239	Never be afraid to mislabel a product.	Body Parts
263	Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum.	Bar Association
285	No good deed ever goes unpunished	The Collaborator

Early in 2371, Quark suggested that a 286th rule be added to the list:

286

When Morn leaves, it's all over.

House of Quark

We have been unable to confirm this rule's addition.

To the Revised Rules

All above sounds can also be downloaded here to play local. This is for those of you who don't have the right modem (28k8 or higher)

home